In our house, you'll always have a shoulder to lean on.

I walked into the nursery recently to find my husband sprawled out on the floor with three of the four babies around him (John was still sleeping). I sat down next to him, and after some morning kisses and conversation, he left to get coffee. In the brief moments that we was gone, I watched our children and realized, with the help of Ben and Kate that in this house, you will indeed always have a shoulder to lean on.


Ben and Kate were laying next to each other, and Ben rolled over to lay his arm around Kate's belly. If that wasn't enough to make me melt, he then laid his head on her chest. The look of contentment that graced the faces of them both was wonderful.


Our life here is filled with adventures, little and big alike. And I'm sure that for anyone it's easy to think that on any given day our household is chaotic. But the truth of the matter is that it's fairly calm, and thus far we've remained somewhat successful in giving all 6 our the attention that they need and deserve.

It's amazing to look back over the past 9 months (yes, 9 months!) since we had the Quads. It seems like a lifetime ago, as we watch the babies become more like little people rather than babies who just need us to sustain them. They all have distinctive personalities, and are growing at a rate that makes my heart stop. Even more interesting, to me at least, is the personality traits that have stayed with the babies from while they were in-utero up until now...Emmie is still aggressive and "rules the roost" as Weston says. She is happy go lucky, and certainly is going to maintain that "fly by the seat of her pants attitude. John is still hyper and ornery, never wanting to sit still. He's excitable and filled with joy when he wants to be, but when he's cranky or in a mood, we all pay the consequences :) Kate is by far the most docile soul in the bunch, and is happy and content in everything she does. She is a joy always, and patient at every moment. Ben is much like Kate, and has a smile that will light up a room. The biggest surprise is that he too is adventurous, wanting to discover anything that we'll allow. I know, having seen Jakob and Owen through infancy to where they are now, that watching your children discover the world around them is something that goes far beyond astounding. But watching it four-fold, in addition to how they interact with each other is such an immense joy.

Obviously, these babies have been together from the beginning. To see the progression from the interaction on a small ultrasound screen to how they tumble over each other to fight for toys and try to climb over their cribs to get to one another is, in a word, incredible. They adore each other and their older brothers and have a bond that I would have never dreamed of. They are coming into their own, all while being banded together by a connection that most of the world will never get to experience. Weston and I used to wonder if as they got older they'd resent us- all six of them- for bringing them into this world where they'd never be alone or have the one on one time with us as parents that they'd need. But the truth is, all of these children are so loved, by us and by each other that I can't imagine that they'd harbor the resentment that I so feared. There is greater joy in my life than seeing my six children laughing and smiling together, each counting on another to provide a playmate, an accomplice, or in the case of Jake and Owen, an alibi. Weston and I know we won't be here forever. I pray that by the grace of God we're here for a very long time. But it provides a comfort knowing that far beyond the point we leave this earth, these 6 children will always have each other. They may be inconsequential to the world as a whole, but together they are cultivating relationships and bonds with each other that will always provide them with support, love and most importantly, family.

At this point (because I know it's been forever since I've updated this) all of the babies are weighing it at 22-24lbs, eating solid foods, picking up snacks to feed themselves, crawling commando style, sitting up, starting to say "da da" and "momma," and meeting all the milestones of babies that match their chronological age. They are by no means standard "preemies." They had their first taste of the pool last weekend, and took their first baths together yesterday. Have I said it's amazing? It's all happening so quickly, that I often find myself wishing I could stop the clock, sit back and watch them like this forever.

The biggest issue we've been faced with isn't a big issue at all, and that's Emmie and John's diagnosis of reflux. It's minor, and they have been put on Zantac which seems to be helping. If that's the worst thing we have to deal with as we travel through this adventure of parenting quadruplets, then we are truly blessed.

As the summer starts, and the babies move at rapidly increasing speeds through the house, my anxiety level has certainly increased- but so has the joy of having 6 beautiful, healthy babies being loud and boisterous throughout the house. I'm worried about our in ground pool and the safety issues that surround it (I do only have 2 ears, 2 eyes and 2 arms) and I'm worried about giving Jake and O a fun summer without limitations of what we can do, like last year. We've done a ton of work to the outside of our house to ensure summer fun, like installing a fence around our pool, a huge swing set big enough to handle six energetic children and their friends, and various other things to keep us all occupied. I've even discovered, in the midst of all of this, that I have green thumb, and have really enjoyed gardening and planting as something to do to relax. Not that I get to relax all that much anymore. With the babies moving at the speed of light, I don't find myself sitting down all too often anymore. If anyone wants a fail-proof diet plan, let me suggest this:

• Have six children that you're constantly running after
• Make sure two are old enough to ask for something every time you sit down to eat
• Have one baby who has a habit of pooping as soon as dinner is served
• Obtain a 105lb yellow lab that has a terrible habit of eating everything off of your plate as you run around changing poopy diapers and getting the drink, dessert, remote control, pajamas, tooth paste, etc that the two older boys are sure to covet.
• To really make the plan work, make sure that said yellow lab sneaks off with the aforementioned poopy diaper and proceeds to try and eat it under the dining room table as you try to eat what's left on your plate. Nothing like a dog eating a diaper to keep your appetite in check.

Such is the life here though, and I wouldn't change it for all of the riches in the world.

Reflection

"The Hopefuls" January 24th, 2009

"Love is the seed of all hope. It is the enticement to trust, to risk, to try, to go on." -Gloria Gaither

Every morning, I get an email from a website called Quote Mountain. The email contains 4 random quotes from the website's archives. I have no idea why I get it, as I never signed up, but when I rollover in the morning and check my Blackberry, it's the first thing I read no matter what other emails I get. Sometimes the quotes are funny, sometimes they are depressing, sometimes they don't pertain to me and sometimes they do.

The quote above was in my Quote Mountain email yesterday and it resonated with me- it was the perfect way to describe how I feel about my life, my family and my future.

January is always big month for me. It's the start of the New year, and the month of my birthday. But this year, the significance of the month is beyond that of years before. I turned 30, it's the anniversary of the IVF attempt that worked (January 19th our babies were conceived) and it's our 1st wedding anniversary.

It's an overwhelming thought that I'm 30 this year. As Weston was kind enough to point out, I'm just as close to 15 as I am to 45. I think I've done a lot in my 30 years, and for that I am proud. But even more important is that I've been loved unconditionally by my family, by some of my friends and created 6 lives that give me more joy than anyone could ever possibly imagine. I found the love of my life, and have been given a gift of what more often than not is a wonderful marriage. I sincerely hope that the next 30 years brings me just as much love and happiness.

Just as overwhelming is the thought that exactly one year ago we were preparing for our 2nd IVF attempt. It was emotional, and we had no certainty that it would work. We knew we would NOT be doing IVF again, and the prospect of not being able to conceive biological children together was terrifying. January 19th we had 18 eggs retrieved and fertilized. By the time the day of transfer came (January 24th) we had only 4 embryos left. None were of "great" quality and our chances of having just one were only 60%. So, we took a leap of faith, and transferred all four, hoping that we'd get one viable baby. We were, as you can imagine hopeful, but by no means sure we'd come out of this with a child. After blood work on February 5th confirming we were indeed pregnant (with an HCG level of 1594!) we knew we had a chance of having one- maybe even two babies given the HCG levels. On February 9th, when I went in for my first ultrasound (alone, West was flying) and saw three beautiful babies on that screen, I was ecstatic, nervous and had absolutely no idea what Weston would say. (It turns out his comment from the cockpit of the plane was "The more the merrier!") As we adjusted to the thought of triplets, I went in for my 2nd ultrasound, again alone. When the technician said " how many did you see last week?" and I replied "3" she said, "Well, now there is a 4th!" My thoughts were scattered and I was worried- "Why didn't the 4th show up the week before? What is Weston going to say? Are we going to lose all of them? Is the doctor going to tell us to reduce?"

In the end, we all know how it worked out. I was fine, carrying the babies to over 34 weeks. The babies were fine, and are now healthy and happy 4 1/2 month olds. Weston was fine, and continues to say "the more the merrier." And while the doctor recommended we reduce, we opted to have faith in both God and ourselves to carry us through. Thankfully that faith has gotten us where we are now, and we ask each other often as we look at these babies "Which one would he wanted to have reduced?!" We can't imagine our life without these 6 children.

It's been an amazing year for me, that's for sure. It's been a pretty amazing 30 years for that matter. When I look back to all that's led me to the age of 30, I don't mind being here so much.

So if you were one of the people who gave me that unconditional love- the love that has inspired me to trust, to take the risks that have given me this life and to continue to try and move on as life happens- I thank you explicitly. I wouldn't be where I am right now without you, and I am certain that the same will be true 30 years from now.