TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING 4X THE FUN

It's been quite some time since I wrote, hasn't it? I'd love to say I have some time to write now, but alas, I don't :) I can't seem to justify taking the few minutes to write about life here when we are truly spending every minute living and enjoying it.

In all honestly, having six beautiful and healthy children in our home has not only filled our time but it's filled our hearts as well. To witness the interaction between all of them, and to watch them grow and change daily is such an amazing thing. We are, without a doubt, blessed.

The boys have adapted to having four new siblings wonderfully, and have become the best big brothers the babies could have. The babies have continued to surprise us day after day, showing us their four distinct personalities already. And Hamilton the dog (the crazy crazy dog) hasn't eaten anyone yet. So far, I'd say it's been a successful 8 weeks.

If you're wondering what it's like to be in the midst of all of this, I promise you it's not crazy. In fact, the babies have given us all a sense of calm and sort of anchored our family. Things have been so uneventful in fact that I often wonder when the shoe will drop.

I hope to have some time soon to tell more of our story, but for now I'm going to go be a part of it- even if it means getting thrown up on for the 6th time today ;)

Thanks to everyone who's kept up with us and sent warm wishes. They all mean so much!

Some pictures of the babies!

Oh My.

One week ago today I had the privilege of welcoming my third, fourth, fifth and sixth child into this world, and to say that it was one of the most amazing things I've ever done is an understatement. Benjamin Christopher (8:00am 4lbs, 3oz), Mary Elizabeth (8:00am 4lbs,11oz), Katherine Mae (8:01am 4lbs, 8oz) and John William (8:03am 4lbs, 3oz) entered this world as strong, beautiful and healthy babies, who have humbled us in ways I could have never imagined.

I don't think I'll ever be able to describe the emotions felt in a suitable way, nor will I ever be able to describe the way we've been humbled throughout this entire process. It's just awe inspiring, and an amazing thing to be a part of. I'm still in disbelief.

All of our babies, including Jakob and Owen are doing incredibly well. All are doing age appropriate things, and taking strides everyday. The babies are very healthy, and are learning how to maintain their temperatures and feed on the bottle consistently without become too tired. Jake and Owen are adjusting to life as big brothers and can't wait to get their hands on their new siblings. I must say that even though my four youngest children are not as home with me tonight, all really is right in this world. The babies are getting the care they need to be strong when they come home, while Jake and Owen are happy to have me home, willing and able to snuggle with me in an instant. The only thing that could make life more perfect is to have the babies home with us- to enjoy, love and embrace.

West is loving the babies too, and to see him with them makes me literally melt. It's one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. As crazy as you think we'd be now preparing for them to come home, we're actually more calm and understanding of each other and have grown even closer through this experience. I'm a very blessed woman to have the husband that I have, and I've never in my life been more grateful for him. His willingness to do anything it takes to provide us with whatever our family needs and his unending support and love truly shows his dedication to both the children and myself. As I said, I'm blessed.

Tomorrow marks another milestone as I take my oldest son to Kindergarten. I truly don't want to let him go, but realize that I have to. He's getting older and it's time for him to start growing up. I'm not ready and don't think I'll ever be ready to let my first (or second, third, fourth, fifth or sixth) child go. It hurts my heart to ever think about it.

So, here is to another week of milestones, with both the boys and the babies. And here is to taking the time out of all of our busy days to be grateful for all that we've been given. I'm privileged and honored to call my family mine.

I'd like to take a minute too, to give proper thanks to all who've helped us through this past week in whatever way they have. From the doctors and nurses that have taken care of both the children and myself and who've given their time and skills to ensure that we all remain well, to my mom and dad staying with us and making our lives easier by doing chores and cooking and helping with the boys, to Weston's brother Greg and his wife Pat to helping take care of the boys at a moments notice. To everyone who graced us with visits, gifts and distractions at the hospital and to those neighbors who have been thoughtful enough to send gifts to the children they've never met. Our sanity, comfort and joy is in no small part related to all you've done. A simple "thanks" will never be enough but for right now, I hope that you know that all you've done is appreciated beyond words and will never be forgotten.

We are a lucky bunch, that's for sure.

Thank you all for thoughts, prayers and well wishes as they've gotten us through this past week. We're very much appreciative.

Love to all,

Weston, Nicole, Jake, Owen, Ben, Emmie, Kate and John.

Mission Accomplished

This morning marks one the largest milestones we've aimed to accomplish. Tomorrow will mark one more.

First, today WE have made it to 34 weeks gestation with our Quadruplets. When I say "We" I truly mean both our immediate family and beyond.

I may have done the physical work of carrying these babies, but Weston has has carried more than his fair share of the responsibility of keeping our lives maintained, and the boys have made it through without having 100% of their mother at their disposal. Our families have worked hard to help with anything we've asked of them, and our friends have done the same. We are so very blessed.

Last night I was trying to explain to West how I felt about the whole experience. To have made it this far, with hardly a bump to be noticed is the biggest gift anyone could have given us. I truly feel as though we've been carried through it, with little more than our toes grazing the ground. We have both God, and everyone around us to thank for that. How can I not feel honored to made it through this part of the journey unscathed? After experiencing the miraculous last 34 weeks, it's hard not to put faith in a higher power and give appreciation to our families who've done so much. To say I feel an unbelievable amount of love and devotion is an understatement.

Tomorrow, at 7:30am, we'll deliver our four newest children via c-section. We've met our goals throughout the pregnancy and tomorrow, we'll meet our gifts. I am excited beyond comprehension. To see them each for the first time, to touch them, to see Weston holding his first babies (by blood of course) and to experience that bond that we both worked so very hard to solidify. To give the boys the siblings they too have been anticipating, and to give our families four more lives to love. It's just going to be an incredible experience. The excitement and joy of seeing our family come together is something that I can not describe, but truly can not wait to behold.

I know that tomorrow will not be easy, given the surgery and the prematurity of the babies. I know that our lives are about to change to significantly that we may not recognize our previous selves. But for now, I am going to let all of the worry and anxiousness subside and focus of what we're about to witness, and the joy it will bring us.

Today we decided to have people over to enjoy some company, and get some family time in before tomorrow's events. We've tried to celebrate in some way every Sunday since I reached 28 weeks, but today seems more special and is the culmination of our pregnancy. We thought it would be nice to share that. So, we're having family, friends, food and drinks this afternoon and I can't wait. The highlight of my day will of course be seeing my Mom, who's staying with us for a couple of days to help (tomorrow my dad and sister will follow).

I am off to start our last day as a family of four, and will keep everyone posted on how tomorrow goes. Please keep us, and our babies (all of them, this isn't going to be easy on Jake and Owen either) in your thoughts!

Much love and thanks,

Nicole

The Final Stretch

Today we've reached 33 weeks. It's amazing to think that in 8 days (well, 7 1/2) we will meet these babies. Our c-section has been scheduled for August 31st, which is a week from tomorrow. I'm not sure if I've ever been more nervous.

We never thought when we found out we were having quads that we'd reach 34 weeks. In fact, we would have been thrilled to get to 30. But here we are, able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am just in awe. I never reached a point in this entire process where I was scared or shaken. But now, for some odd reason, being faced with an actual date has left me more apprehensive than usual. I'm anxious about the surgery, how the babies will handle the birth, what their health will be like, how the boys' will adjust, how Weston and I will fair and so much more. A week before they're born seems like a crappy time to start worrying about things, but leave it to me to procrastinate.

Jake and Owen impress me more and more each day. They survived our move and have adjusted so well to our new home. They also seem to really understand just what's going on around here, and what's about to happen. They've have even been very gentle and affectionate towards me, taking precautions not to hurt me or the babies. For two rambunctious boys, they are truly acting like little men who possess both compassion and sympathy for how I feel. It's astounding to witness and I am so incredibly proud of them.

Weston and I survived our move as well, and I have to say that I have never seen someone work as hard as Weston has from the week leading up to our move to this very moment as he paints our spare bedroom. He has been non-stop, and has made sure to keep me away from all of the "hoopla" as much as he can, even while he maintains his normal day to day work. It's really been a testament to his dedication to his family, and of course, me. We've also been blessed to have help from our families which can not go unacknowledged. From people helping with packing, to people helping to unpack...To people lending their time to help with the boys and so on...It's been a great thing to have people to help and we are both very grateful for it.

Since things are settling down now and we're fairly organized and unpacked, I've decided to actually take it easy this week. I've been ok for most of the last 33 weeks but this past week has been especially rough on me. I am getting HUGE and am having a hard time just getting around, so I figured I could take this week, enjoy the last few days of just having my two little boys and really focus on relaxing. There is no question that I don't sit still well. But I'm going to make an effort so I can go into surgery with a sense of calm. The babies deserve it. Aside from the FINAL drs appt I have tomorrow, I will not be running all over the place as usual. To be honest, I am actually looking forward to it.

So that's the story....One week until we have our 4 beautiful new additions, three weeks until my oldest son starts kindergarten, and a whole entire week to absorb every bit of what's happening around here surrounded by my family.

31 WEEKS AND COUNTING :)

If I hear one more person say "you look like you're about to pop" I may very well pop them (aside from family of course). Today I was out hunting for stuff for our new house and was in Lowes. I swear that in the 20 mins I was there I must have had five or six people come up to me and say something to the effect of "you look you're about to pop." They must have thought I was unaware of my appearance, or hadn't noticed that my belly is entering rooms about 3 steps before I am. I admit, I take pride in the fact that I am still up and about at 31 weeks pregnant with quadruplets. I would just rather people not point out the obvious as I waddle my way through Lowes, the bank or anywhere else, closely resembling the likes of the penguins Jake and Owen so thoroughly enjoy at the zoo.

Tomorrow is 31 weeks exactly. This past week has gone by fairly quickly, given all that's been done. We've had the new house cleaned and painted, started packing, Weston took in a Phillies game, I took the boys to start school shopping, etc. We ended our week with a get together at my sister in laws last night complete with food, lots of family, and drinks (God, I so miss Gin and Tonics....). I also was lucky enough to have "belly pics" done by Hilaire, the sister in law who's house we were at. She dolled me up, told me how to pose and all of that fun stuff. For as awkward as I felt during the "session," I felt completely at ease by the end and was in love with some of the pictures she took. I wanted to have them for the babies and for West, so I am SO incredibly grateful that she took the time to do that for me. I really can't wait to see them when they are finished!

To celebrate our 31 week anniversary (yes, I have been making West celebrate with me every week since 28 weeks) we're heading to Raymour and Flanigan for date night. I know, it sounds so romantic. But it will be nice to have an uninterrupted couple of hours tonight with my husband, day dreaming about our new house and our new life with our six children. Of course, reality will settle in and I'll be thinking of the utter chaos and mess that's soon to come sometime after dinner ;)

The boys are with their dad until tomorrow so I hope I have some time to relax a bit. For as much time as I spend in bed these days, I'm not feeling really relaxed, lol. I'm off to nap while I wait for West to get home and get date night started.

Happy 31 weeks Babies!

The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

West and I during the first week of vacation

Owen looking like a cross between Popeye and Curious George

Jakers on the tube

Jakers playing in the sand

Owen sleeping in his Radio Flyer Wagon :)

Mommy and Owen snuggling up on the beach

I've had some comments made to me about my lack of attention to the blog, so tonight I'll fight the utter exhaustion and try to get everyone reacquainted with our expanding family (and my ever expanding belly).

* A big shout out to Chris and Krisi who have convinced me to type, even when the energy could be better used trying to roll over.

In the past 7-8 weeks a lot has happened, though nothing significant related to the pregnancy. It's easy to think that as I have to slow my life down to accommodate my growing body, the world itself would slow down as to not leave me out. Unfortunately, that has not been the case and I have been left to view most things from afar. It's been quite a wake up call to realize that as much as I would like life to be at my pace, it likely won't happen.

A good portion of the past two months was spent at the shore for 3 weeks for vacation (coming home once a week to visit our doctors). We had beautiful weather and the boys had an absolute blast. I was even fortunate enough to go to the beach most days (keeping very well hydrated, covered, etc). This year was certainly not as relaxing as one would hope because of the pregnancy and my lack of ability to do most things, but was also very stressful because Weston's mom became very ill. Whenever someone in your family has a serious ailment it most certainly lends a hand in increasing the stresses of every day life. Thankfully, she is making a slow, but steady recovery and she'll be ready to enjoy her four new grandchildren when they arrive.

Aside from vacation, our summer really hasn't been overwhelmingly fun filled. As I said, I've mostly been "out of commission" and we've just now started to more proactively prepare for the babies. One would think we would have been doing that long ago, I know. But something in my head needed me to wait until the babies were viable to start making plans, etc. I suppose on some level I didn't want to jinx having them arrive safely. Having that attitude however has left us scrambling as the due date comes closer and closer. As an example, in the last month we've gotten a new car (Can an SUV that seats 8 really be considered a car?!) and a new house. Yes, that's right....A new house. So now, on top of all of the chaos that surrounds us on a day to day basis we've thrown moving into the mix. Have I mentioned I'm not supposed to do much and won't be much help when it comes to actually moving?!

Maybe our summer hasn't been overwhelmingly fun filled, but we did find out that we were chosen to be featured on a multiples special for TLC. Apparently its like a combination of THE BABY STORY and BRINGING HOME BABY. We're excited to have the birth and some of the first few moments filmed, as we both know neither one of us will be in the right mind to properly document it ourselves. To be able to have those memories forever accessible is a gift and it will be an amazing thing to show the babies once they are old enough to understand what it took to get them here safely. We'll keep everyone posted as we find out more about when the show will air, etc.

So, there is the abridged version of our summer...On to the present....

It just so happens that today I have reached a significant goal of being 30 weeks pregnant with Quadruplets. We've beaten the average, and our in utero children are each weighing in at over 3 lbs, and all continue to be seemingly healthy.

I, on the other hand have been having an increasingly hard time with both pain and mental health management. Essentially I am in varying degrees of pain all of the time and that's causing me to lose a massive amount of sleep. That lack of sleep combined with the pain of carrying well over 12 lbs of babies has left me emotionally spent, and if we're being honest, ready to crack. Laying around all day is less glamorous then it seems, and I'm often left feeling as though the boys are suffering for my lack of abilities and my marriage is suffering for my lack of emotional stability. There is no question that the energy in the house has been altered. We all know that any day, we'll all be left with our lives so off balance we won't know what to do. That's not to say all of us don't have faith, or look forward to the blessings that we're about to receive. It just means that sometimes the time leading up to the event is often much more stress filled that the actual event itself.

With that said, the doctors are expecting great things from us. They expect that the babies will hang in there for another few weeks, and to be honest, I'm expecting the same. Hopefully, the power of positive thinking will pay off. It's comforting to think that just as the babies have each other to take comfort in and grasp on to during the next few weeks, my husband and I can take comfort in and grasp onto each other as well.

I promise to try to write more often. If anything it will be because my memory is terrible and if I don't *I* may not remember what happened during this pregnancy!

It's a beautiful Sunday here in Merion. The birds are chirping, the house is somewhat calm and our dog hasn't eaten anything overwhelmingly expensive yet today. I've also been taken to breakfast by my very attentive husband (at least when it comes to feeding me, lol) and had some great french toast. So why am I inside blogging on this gorgeous day? Well, I'm not allowed in the sun anymore. But that's a-ok because the babies are doing well, the boys are doing well and Weston and I are doing well too.

As of tomorrow we are 22 weeks pregnant. The doctor seems to think that we have 8-10 weeks to go! It's amazing how quickly the time has gone by. We have two or so weeks left until we reach the "safe zone" of viability, and I am thankfully still moving around quite well for carrying 4 babies. My biggest concern now is carrying them for as long as I can and making sure that they continue to grow well. I am now going to the doctor once a week, which is both great (I love seeing them during the ultrasound) and overwhelming. Every week I essentially prepare for bad news. Thankfully we haven't received any to date!

At our last visit the babies each weighed in at over a pound each. They are big, gorgeous and unfortunately very cramped. So much so that John's head has a home nestled inside of my liver. But as I said they are all healthy, and growing at an exceptional rate. We really do feel so blessed.

Our concerns and fears now lay more in the logistics of how life is going to be for the next few months. We leave for our shore house in 2 weeks for a 3 week stay. How am I going to survive at the beach for three weeks, not being able to go in the sun or extreme heat? Especially with Jakob and Owen being as active as they are. What the heck are we going to do if an emergency occurs and the babies are born while Weston is flying? Like anything else in life, we'll adjust and make due because that's what we have to do. There are no other options. But trying to plan for the "what ifs" when we have no idea what's going to happen is often a tedious and exhausting task.

People continue to ask if we're nervous or apprehensive and "how on earth we think we'll manage" everything. First and foremost this is not a situation "to manage." It's our life, and just like anything else in life, all things will be dealt with accordingly as we continue to raise our SIX children and live as a family. Yes, we need to be prepared and we'll have help (thankfully we have the ability to have help). But to over simplify the joy of having such a family by making it out to be a business proposition seems so unjust. To the kids, and to us. We are of course nervous, about the health of the babies and about the adjustments the boys will have to make. But honestly, we're pretty damn excited too. Some people we encountered have such a negative thought process about what WE are going through that it is utterly amazing. I mean, we chose this for ourselves. Who are these people doing the second guessing for us? On the other hand, we have encountered so many people who are just beside themselves to be introduced to such an amazing situation, which is always something I find endearing.

In other news...Hmm.....I guess there really isn't any other news...At least nothing huge. Jake has fully recovered from his surgery and has regained his usual energy and endurance. Owen has been soaking up the sun (when it's not raining- YUCK!) and is learning to ride his scooter just as well as his brother. Both of them are enjoying all of the time they can at our pool, and getting as dirty as possible while they play outside :) They are just boys being boys....

I suppose that's it for now. I'm headed outside under our covered porch to at least enjoy the weather- even If I can't be in the sun :)

Enjoy the week!

Half Way There

I finally got to see my Mom yesterday. And my Dad, and my sister and a lot of my other family that I miss so very much. Weston, the boys and I made the trek out to my parent's and I am so happy that we did. It was a great start to the week, and I enjoyed every minute of being with my family. I think one of the hardest things I'll go through with these babies is not having my family close. Jakob and Owen spent their first years seeing my parents daily. They were a huge help to me, and the boys developed such a strong bond with them. Now, we're two hours away and I am so sad that the babies won't have that same experience.

Onto the pregnancy news...Today I am 19 weeks pregnant! That's means we're more than 1/2 way to the end of this pregnancy and that we're getting closer and closer to meeting these four babies!

I'm feeling well right now. I mean, I'm having a hard time moving faster than a newly walking toddler but generally I am ok. All of the other ailments that I have are still persistent but keeping myself busy is really a great way to forget about them. I am slowly purging everything that we don't need, and getting more and more organized every day. I was somewhat organized before, but I've taken it to a whole new level. I just keep thinking how having a system for everything is going to make life that much easier when the Quads arrive.

Another great way to forget about how badly you're feeling is to have a child who's sick and feeling worse than you are. Jake spent a day in the ER last week for abscessed tonsils, and is having surgery to remove his tonsils & adenoids in addition to putting tubes in his ears on Wednesday. We've gotten to the point where the doctor is confident it's the wise choice after he's had recurrent infections for a year. So, my oldest son is having his first surgery. Sigh.

Jake was such a brave guy last week. He didn't flinch when they put his IV in, he didn't move every time they gave him more meds, and he didn't complain when he couldn't have any snacks. He just sat in his hospital bed watching Nickelodeon and coloring with Owen. I'm hoping this week he proves to be just as brave, for his sake and (selfishly) mine. He knows he's having surgery, and seems ok with the idea. BUT, that's only if you say they are "shrinking" and not "removing" his tonsils. He's more comfortable with the idea that they are going to remain intact, lol.

Jake also graduated from Preschool on Friday night. He was so incredibly adorable. I can't believe I have a 5 1/2 year old who is making his way QUICKLY towards Kindergarten. Where on earth has the time gone?

The graduation from Preschool and the end of preschool for the year for Owen marks the start of summer for the Veith/Liebe clan. The pool we belong to opens this weekend, our summer vacation to Sea Isle is planned and the weather is finally getting warmer. I can't wait. I know I'll be a beached whale for most of it, but at the very least I have all the time in the world to spend time with Jake and Owen before our lives become even more hectic.

I'm off to bath time. Have a great week~

Here's an update....

I want my mommy. Badly. I don't care if I'm 29 and shouldn't. Sometimes a girl just needs to have her arm scratched (long story but she's been doing it for 29 years and I'm in need of some arm scratching now!).

I also want my sister. Why, I don't know. Yes, I miss her too, but I'd really just like for her to make me some weenies in a blanket. She's the best weenie in a blanket maker I know...And I don't even LIKE weenies. Ok, that came out wrong-but you know what I mean.

While I'm on the "I want" tangent, I'd also like to add the following:

*Sunshine. I am SO tired of it raining. The boys are going stir crazy and we all want to go outside and play

*My husband. He's flying until late tomorrow night which means I won't sleep nearly as well because he's not home and next to me in bed.

*A sugar free cherry Rita's. Because everything in my life at this point revolves around food.

*A Gin and Tonic. It's been WAY too long.

Consider that my tantrum for the day.

Eat, Drink and Be Merry

I'm tired. Really, really, really tired. I'm also achy, emotional and various other things, so as you can see not much has changed.

What has changed is that we are all much more aware of just how fragile I am physically and how my health is going to play a huge role in how long this pregnancy lasts.

We have been very fortunate throughout the past 17 weeks to not have any terrible scares with the babies. In fact, we really haven't had any scares at all since the very beginning. What we did have was a scare with me.

We've known all along that my caloric intake, liquid intake, etc had to increase tremendously. Unfortunately I hadn't realized just how much what I ingested and when would have such a huge effect on my ability to function on a day to day basis. So essentially I woke up last Saturday eager to get outside and enjoy the nice weather with the boys and West. I had my usual juice, but not my usual heavy breakfast. I ate toast on the way to the dog park with Owen (we were meeting Jake and West) and as soon as I got there I knew something was wrong. After resting for 10-15 minutes I started the very short walk back to our house. I continuously had to stop and make an effort to breath. I felt faint and exhausted. Finally after stopping several times I fell...twice. I had passed out cold and couldn't function. Thankfully, we had neighbors who were in the area and they brought out juice and a cereal bar. After I drank the juice, I was able to get up and waddle home. That incident landed me in the hospital overnight and left all of us extremely scared. Never again will you catch me doing anything without eating/drinking first.
Obviously the babies are all fine- they are just draining every ounce of everything I have out of me. The doctors explained that I had a low hemoglobin (my body isn't making enough blood), a low blood sugar, low potassium and dehydration. It's amazing that no matter how much I ingest, it's never going to be enough.

This experience showed me just how fragile I am right now- but it also showed me how fragile we all are on any given day. Jake and Owen fell witness to something very traumatic to them. Weston was left in the middle of a chaotic and frightening situation in which he was left to care for me, the boys and our crazy dog Hamilton. Once you go through something like that you have no choice but to acknowledge the possibilities, both good and bad, of what can happen at any given moment.

Thankfully we made it through last weekend unscathed. Family came together to help Weston with Jake and Owen (which I am so eternally grateful for), Weston managed everything so incredibly well and we've learned some very important lessons. Weston and the boys continue to take amazing care of me on a daily basis and I have to say I feel so blessed.

I am still trying, no matter what the circumstances, to maintain a sense of normalcy for Jake and Owen. Their lives are going to change so much, and I want to devote all of the time and energy I can to them right now. I took them to the zoo on Wednesday and we had such a great time just walking and talking (Obviously I ate a lot before we went, lol). That peaceful time is just so meaningful to me.

While we're all so excited to welcome our four new additions, we are also very aware that life will never be the same. That alone is reason enough to be scared.

As the pregnancy progresses, my emotions change quite often. At first we just wanted to make sure our children would ALL be happy and healthy. Now that we now that the babies are healthy, I worry about the effect of doubling our family will have on Jake and Owen. Of course, this often subsides to excitement of seeing the interaction between all of the children. But just as I take that minute to relax and enjoy those thoughts, I am left with the sinking feeling that something is bound to go wrong. It really is a roller coaster of emotions.

At 17 weeks, we are likely 1/2 way through this pregnancy. It's amazing, isn't it? The babies are roughly 1/2 pound each and fattening up as we speak. For obvious reasons we're hoping to stay pregnant as long as possible. However the reality is that we'll have the babies between 30-34 weeks. To prepare we've started the nursery, which is a great distraction from thinking too much.

We've also settled on names for all of them, which was a task in itself. So, joining Jakob Douglas and Owen Russell we have:

*Mary Elizabeth (Weston's mom is also named Mary. To honor Owen's request that we have a sister named Emmie, we've decided that we'll call Mary "EMMIE" for her initials- M.E.).
*Katherine Mae (Mae is my grandmother's middle name. We'll call her KATE).
*Benjamin Charles (Charles is Weston's middle name. We'll call him BEN).
*John George (Weston's father and brother who have both passed away were both named John George. John is also a nod to my mother, JoAnne which is the female form of John as well as my Great grandfather, John Kiefer. We'll likely call John "JOHN JOHN"

I'll admit, it took quite an effort to name them all :)

For now, I am going to go enjoy my time with Jake and Owen who are fighting over puzzle pieces. Not because they want to do a puzzle, but because they want to use the pieces as boomerangs. They are truly boys.

I've been terrible with the updating, I know. Part of me started to feel as though I was exploiting this experience. But, people continue to ask about updates and I do like the feeling of having an outlet so I'll continue...Maybe not "frequently" but enough to keep those who want to know in the loop.

In the past few weeks we've continued to experience the emotional ups and downs associated with both pregnancy and the realization that every day we're closer to having quads join our family. It's really like nothing I've ever experienced before.

We made it through our CVS procedure (Which I will NEVER do again....way too painful for me!) and found out that each one of our four babies is genetically perfect. While we feel so blessed to have four "healthy" children, I'm still constantly worried about all of the ailments that can affect them in the future. We still have to make it through the anatomy screenings, etc. Not to mention the aftermath of having quads prematurely and the risks associated with that. It's like a never ending roller coaster. Just when I think I can take a step back and relieve myself of some of the worry, there is something else to focus that worry on. I could scream.

Aside from the genetic (chromosome) screenings, we were also lucky enough to find out the sexes of our babies. It was very early in the grand scheme of things (12 weeks) but because the sex of a baby is determined by chromosomes (are you having a back flash from high school biology?! XY and XX...lol) we were given that information as well. So, we are having 2 boys and 2 girls join Jake and Owen :)

Names have already been decided for the most part and once they are firmed up, I'll pass them along.

Speaking of Jake and Owen, they are increasingly excited to meet their brothers and sisters. Each have definite ideas of what they are going to do for the babies, and what they want to teach them. It's an amazing thing to see their faces light up with thoughts of siblings. I'm not sure they realize how crazy it's going to be around here, but hopefully that won't sway their attitudes the other way.

We also recently moved their bedroom to our spare in order to be able to fit the quads in one nursery. THANKFULLY both boys were ok with the move and helped decorate their new "pad." Now that we know the sexes, we have planned the nursery and ordered the cribs and bedding. I'd like to say my husband had a lot to do with this process but alas, I don't think he's too interested. At the very least he's probably thankfully it's keeping me occupied and my mind off feeling like such (pardon the term) crap.

So, that's the last few weeks in a nut shell. We're looking forward to warm weather, vacation and some relaxation once the boys get out of school for the year. We have another doctor's appointment next week, so I'll update then.

I hope everyone had a great holiday!

It's Been a While, I know.

So much for keeping everyone well informed.

Things have been increasingly hectic, and even more emotional. I haven't really even sat down at the computer to correspond via email, let alone catch up on this. There has been a lot of time spent at various doctors' offices, and even more time spent in bed on bed rest. But, it seems as though there is light at the end of this tunnel, and I am looking forward to slinking back into normalcy even if it's just for a little while.

Since I last wrote, we have had FIVE different appointments with three different doctors. At each appointment since the discovery of baby number four, we've been told to expect it's disappearance and to focus on the three others. At our last appointment, (which was yesterday) we were finally told that we have four seemingly healthy babies for 10 weeks gestation. And for that, we breathed a sigh of relief. Baby number four has caught up completely with its siblings and for now, all remain on par for where they should be at this stage of the game.

We did have a pretty intense scare this week, complete with emergency doctors visits (I'll save you unpleasant specifics). But, we've walked away unscathed.

I am now 10 weeks pregnant with Quadruplets. It still feels surreal to say that out loud. Even more surreal is that we will have SIX children.

We had our first appointment with a high risk ob last night. Specifically, he's a Perinatalogist. We both really liked him, and he spent a ton of time going over every facet of the pregnancy. He (and his practice) have a ton of experience delivery high order multiples and we both left feeling so much more comfortable with what's going to happen in the next few months and beyond.

The doctor gave us a ton of statistics and feels that I have two things going for me- one is my age, and the other is that I've never progressed in either of my other pregnancies. This means that I have a fighting chance of not going into severe pre-term labor. The longer the babies stay put, the less likely they are to suffer any long term detrimental effects from being pre-term. The most important thing to do is to mentally be in the mind set that this will all have a positive outcome, and use common sense in regards to what my body can endure.

I have to say that for the first time, we have faith (Well, Weston has most of the faith) that we can do this. I can actually begin to let the excitement build, and look forward to meeting our four new additions.

In non-pregnancy related news Jake was registered officially for Kindergarten last week. My first baby is growing up so quickly. I swear he's going to be driving and going to college any day. Owen was registered for the four year old class at his pre-school, which is also hard for me to stomach. They are both getting so big, talking like little men and becoming so mature. It's really amazing to sit back and watch them progress day to day. Even more astounding is the relationship they have with each other. There is less fighting and arguing and more conversations, play time and pleasant interaction between the two of them. It's such a great thing to witness.

Needless to say we're blessed...

On a lighter note...

Today there were articles from various news outlets (credible ones, mind you) that were reporting that the Octo-mom who recently had 8 babies (in addition to her previous 6) was being offered a cool 1 million dollars to make a porn video. I swear, it's true. If you don't believe me, google it :)

My first reaction to such reports was "good God, who on earth would want to see that psychotic looking women who has had 16 babies make a porn film?!" But once I had a chance to think about it and set my exasperation aside, I couldn't help but see where the porn people are coming from.

I don't pretend to know the first thing about the Adult Film Industry. But any facet of the entertainment industry that puts such thought into the title of their films (Debbie Does Dallas, and so on) must put just as much thought into who stars in them.

Question of the day: What would the Octo-Mom's film be called? Perhaps "Octo-Mom Makes More Magic" would be appropriate. (I'll be honest, I have a few other suggestions, but this is a family blog!!)

More upsetting than the prospect of having West suggest we rent such a film was the discussion I had with a very good friend. I had hoped to get offered such an an amount for my services as a multiple rearing porn star. But alas, it doesn't seem to be in the cards as my friend suggested I'd be worth only 1/2 that amount having Quads. Talk about disappointment. I truly did think that my lack of "the crazies" would offset our only having four instead of eight.

:)

I'm thrilled to be pregnant. Really, I am. We worked so hard to get here, and I'm so grateful to finally have the outcome we so desperately wanted. What I don't like is that the whole experience has been incredibly anti-climactic with the distinct resemblance to that of a crappy roller coaster.


Unfortunately, today was a continuation of the emotional roller coaster and we're left feeling no better, no more excited and more confused.


This morning we did have yet another doctor's appt in which they drew blood (how much of my blood do they need?!) and did another ultrasound. After pep talks from various nurses assuring both Weston and myself that my outrageous hormones were normal we had our ultrasound. Today, we had an audience. Apparently, high order multiples are rare at our fertility clinic. So rare, that the nurses actually whisper about us as we walk by, and come in during the ultrasound to see for themselves. They also pass on their condolences to us for being part of such a horrid event. The only problem is, Weston and I don't really think it's so horrid. ( I will say that it's actually quite amusing to see faces as we walk by and have them look at us with pity, as if we were just witness to a death in the family.)


So, needless to say all four babies were seen today, functioning as they should and looking much bigger than last week. They are all measuring normally, aside from baby number 4 who is still a day or two behind and who's gestational sac is a tad on the smaller side. Yet it's still managing to grow on par with the other three. We were once again surprised to see baby number 4 thriving, as we have been told all along that it would be the one to not make it. It was, in all honesty a bittersweet surprise. We're thrilled to have our four babies still with us, yet apprehensive about how carrying quadruplets will effect my health and the babies themselves.

We knew that the first issue the doctor would bring up would be that of selective reduction (again). As we told our doctor, it's not an option unless my health is at risk, or one of the babies has a fatal abnormality which would prevent it from living outside the womb or whose presence would harm the others in-utero. I'm really having such a hard time wrapping my head around the choice to purposefully removing one or two of the children we literally went through hell for. It seems so insane and even more unfair. Why should we be asked to do such a thing without having any other knowledge to morally and ethically make the best decision?

So, to feel as though we're going through the process as appropriately as possible, we decided to make an appointment to see a perineonatologist. In addition to genetic counselling, we'll have genetic testing done on all of the babies to ensure they are all healthy. Part of feeling like we're doing the best for our children is making sure that they are well taken care of. Should any of them have issues that can be addressed now or immediately following birth, we'll be better prepared to deal with whatever the outcome may be. The genetic testing will also allow us to know, (much earlier on) if we do in fact need to prepare for the loss of a child. Knowing may not make it any easier but it will certainly give us peace of mind that we did everything we could to give hope to each one of them.

Talk about a Debby Downer post, huh?

Really, I do believe that it will all work out. I am just so looking forward to the excitement part...When we can start dreaming about the babies without having to worry that one of them won't be a part of our reality.

Next doctor's appointment is next Thursday. The Thursday after that is the Perineonatologist. We'll keep everyone posted :)

Maybe We Are a Freak Show.

There are moments when I look at my husband in complete adoration. Really, it's true. He's handsome, insanely intelligent, quite funny and so on. I have these moments when he's talking to me and I'm just overcome with awe. I stare at his face, and admire his features and think "this person is MY husband and he chose me." Then, just as there are moments of adoration and admiration, there are moments when I look at my husband and I want to strangle him. Today I had one of the latter moments.

As a note: If you have an obscenely hormonal wife, it's best to to ignore your Blackberry when meeting with the doctor. Actually, it's best for you both that you just turn it off. Better yet, leave it in the car. . I know the temptation to pick it up will overcome you and the outcome won't be pretty. So, save her the embarrassment of having to apologize to the doctor for her outburst ("Turn that F*C%$#G phone off before I throw it out the window") and save yourself from the ensuing fight that's bound to take place on the way home.

Did I say in the last post that we weren't a freak show?! Perhaps I should reexamine such a thought after today's display of craziness.

Anyway, as you've likely gathered by now, Weston and I had another doctors appointment today. This was purely a check up on baby number four. On Monday it hadn't had a heartbeat and was measuring quite a bit behind the three others. Because of that, we weren't expecting good or even neutral news regarding its (I feel so bad calling my child an "it") progress. We went in with no expectations and were floored to find that baby number four actually had a heartbeat. The prognosis isn't great, as it's still measuring quite a bit behind. But for the moment we have four babies. I will say that it seems sort of cruel when you think about it; to find out about a fourth child and then have everyone tell you to prepare to lose it.

I'll be honest here. West and I never thought that we'd be blessed with the chance to have 4 more children right now. When we transferred four embryos, we were given a 65% chance of having ONE child. The chance of having multiples was slim. We knew that having high order multiples is not something good fertility specialists strive for (take note crazy doctor to crazy octuplet mom) and we knew it could be dangerous for the mother and the children. But with that in mind, we knew getting pregnant with more than one child was a possibility, albeit a slim one. We knew the risks and we knew we were taking chances.

A lot of the emotion that we are both dealing with now is not from the prospect of having four more children, but from the prospect of having to lose one. It's coming from the numerous conversations with doctors and nurses at our clinic telling us that a loss of number 4 would explicitly be the best scenario. They've also mentioned that should it not happen naturally that we use a process called "selective reduction." You'll have to pardon my belligerent attitude when I say who are they to tell us that the loss of a child would likely be the best scenario? We're a mere 7 weeks pregnant. We have no idea how this will all turn out and for the moment, I'm healthy, the babies are healthy and that's all that should matter.

Our next appointment is on Tuesday and apparently we'll have a better idea of what's going on. It's a waiting game. A painfully crappy waiting game. But I know in the end it will all be worth it.

Hindsight is always 20/20.

I've had numerous people ask if I'd start writing a blog. I've also had people ask if we'll try and get a show on TLC. Given the choices, I'll opt for the blog and try to keep the gawking to a minimum. After all, we aren't a freak show.

I titled this post "Hindsight is always 20/20" because I thought it may have been better to have started blogging at the beginning of our journey through IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). After some thought though, I came to realize that you likely wouldn't want a daily dose of how extremely hormonal (IE psychotic) I was, or just how much I hated being poked with needles. You also didn't want to hear the occasional indignant rants I'd have about my sincere displeasure with...well...everything. Having to endure the modern fertility torture known as assisted reproductive technology made no sense. My first two children came so easily. And for that, I was bitter.

So, after all of the hormonal fits of rage, and after the hundreds of needles I have endured (and my husband has enjoyed giving, I'm sure) we are here. Located squarely within the point of no return, pregnant with FOUR beautiful babies.

Yes, four.

Weston and I had already had one failed IVF attempt. Our second, which began in the middle of December ended with a positive beta pregnancy test on February 5th. That afternoon, we found out that our beta level was a whopping 1594. To give you an idea, the average beta level for a pregnant woman at the same stage I was at was a mere 288. Needless to say, we immediately thought multiples.

The following week, while Weston was away I had my first ultrasound. There, the ultrasound tech found three embryos, comfortably attached and growing. Her last comment was "Well, you know, we could always find one more!" I had expected that at least two of the four of our transferred embryos would make it. Weston had always said three. Neither one of us believed that anything more was possible. We were only given a 65% chance of having a singleton...Becoming pregnant with three would be virtually unheard of. Becoming Pregnant with four would be downright miraculous.

After a week, we finally wrapped our heads around the news and gradually eased in to the fact that we would be the parents to FIVE children. Jake and Owen from my first marriage, and the three new little beans hanging out in-utero. With the excitement starting to build, I practically skipped to my second ultrasound yesterday anxious to see the babies, and their heartbeats.

Once again, Weston was away and I was off to the appointment solo. My only thoughts were "make sure I get pictures to show West when he gets home" and "please let them all have heartbeats." As I laid on that table with the nurse pointing out our babies (and their heartbeats!) I could feel all of the nervousness and apprehension about our capabilities just melt away. And it was at that point the same nurse who showed me our three babies the week before say "well, this week....we have a fourth."

I'd like to say my reply was thoughtful and sincere. It wasn't. I believe my words were "Holy crap, are you serious?!"

Of course Weston's reaction was my first concern. Why, I have no idea. His motto is always"the more the merrier." I got the pictures from the nurse, and gazed at our four tiny babies once more. Then I picked my jaw up off the floor, wiped the tears from my face and marched out of there as quickly as possible to call my husband. After I made sure he was sitting down I told him the news. He was ecstatic.

It's not that I'm not thrilled to have such blessings, because I am. But I am not allowing myself to get excited just yet. We just don't know what's going to happen or how this will all turn out. It really is just too early to tell anything. So for now, my focus is on keeping the babies safe as best as we can and on continuing to give Jake and Owen a normal life no matter how tired or cranky or sick I am.

With that introduction, I welcome you to follow our footsteps as we walk (let's be honest, I'll be waddling) down the road to multiples. The more the merrier :)