THE MORE THE MERRIER IN MERION

I'm thrilled to be pregnant. Really, I am. We worked so hard to get here, and I'm so grateful to finally have the outcome we so desperately wanted. What I don't like is that the whole experience has been incredibly anti-climactic with the distinct resemblance to that of a crappy roller coaster.


Unfortunately, today was a continuation of the emotional roller coaster and we're left feeling no better, no more excited and more confused.


This morning we did have yet another doctor's appt in which they drew blood (how much of my blood do they need?!) and did another ultrasound. After pep talks from various nurses assuring both Weston and myself that my outrageous hormones were normal we had our ultrasound. Today, we had an audience. Apparently, high order multiples are rare at our fertility clinic. So rare, that the nurses actually whisper about us as we walk by, and come in during the ultrasound to see for themselves. They also pass on their condolences to us for being part of such a horrid event. The only problem is, Weston and I don't really think it's so horrid. ( I will say that it's actually quite amusing to see faces as we walk by and have them look at us with pity, as if we were just witness to a death in the family.)


So, needless to say all four babies were seen today, functioning as they should and looking much bigger than last week. They are all measuring normally, aside from baby number 4 who is still a day or two behind and who's gestational sac is a tad on the smaller side. Yet it's still managing to grow on par with the other three. We were once again surprised to see baby number 4 thriving, as we have been told all along that it would be the one to not make it. It was, in all honesty a bittersweet surprise. We're thrilled to have our four babies still with us, yet apprehensive about how carrying quadruplets will effect my health and the babies themselves.

We knew that the first issue the doctor would bring up would be that of selective reduction (again). As we told our doctor, it's not an option unless my health is at risk, or one of the babies has a fatal abnormality which would prevent it from living outside the womb or whose presence would harm the others in-utero. I'm really having such a hard time wrapping my head around the choice to purposefully removing one or two of the children we literally went through hell for. It seems so insane and even more unfair. Why should we be asked to do such a thing without having any other knowledge to morally and ethically make the best decision?

So, to feel as though we're going through the process as appropriately as possible, we decided to make an appointment to see a perineonatologist. In addition to genetic counselling, we'll have genetic testing done on all of the babies to ensure they are all healthy. Part of feeling like we're doing the best for our children is making sure that they are well taken care of. Should any of them have issues that can be addressed now or immediately following birth, we'll be better prepared to deal with whatever the outcome may be. The genetic testing will also allow us to know, (much earlier on) if we do in fact need to prepare for the loss of a child. Knowing may not make it any easier but it will certainly give us peace of mind that we did everything we could to give hope to each one of them.

Talk about a Debby Downer post, huh?

Really, I do believe that it will all work out. I am just so looking forward to the excitement part...When we can start dreaming about the babies without having to worry that one of them won't be a part of our reality.

Next doctor's appointment is next Thursday. The Thursday after that is the Perineonatologist. We'll keep everyone posted :)