In our house, you'll always have a shoulder to lean on.

I walked into the nursery recently to find my husband sprawled out on the floor with three of the four babies around him (John was still sleeping). I sat down next to him, and after some morning kisses and conversation, he left to get coffee. In the brief moments that we was gone, I watched our children and realized, with the help of Ben and Kate that in this house, you will indeed always have a shoulder to lean on.


Ben and Kate were laying next to each other, and Ben rolled over to lay his arm around Kate's belly. If that wasn't enough to make me melt, he then laid his head on her chest. The look of contentment that graced the faces of them both was wonderful.


Our life here is filled with adventures, little and big alike. And I'm sure that for anyone it's easy to think that on any given day our household is chaotic. But the truth of the matter is that it's fairly calm, and thus far we've remained somewhat successful in giving all 6 our the attention that they need and deserve.

It's amazing to look back over the past 9 months (yes, 9 months!) since we had the Quads. It seems like a lifetime ago, as we watch the babies become more like little people rather than babies who just need us to sustain them. They all have distinctive personalities, and are growing at a rate that makes my heart stop. Even more interesting, to me at least, is the personality traits that have stayed with the babies from while they were in-utero up until now...Emmie is still aggressive and "rules the roost" as Weston says. She is happy go lucky, and certainly is going to maintain that "fly by the seat of her pants attitude. John is still hyper and ornery, never wanting to sit still. He's excitable and filled with joy when he wants to be, but when he's cranky or in a mood, we all pay the consequences :) Kate is by far the most docile soul in the bunch, and is happy and content in everything she does. She is a joy always, and patient at every moment. Ben is much like Kate, and has a smile that will light up a room. The biggest surprise is that he too is adventurous, wanting to discover anything that we'll allow. I know, having seen Jakob and Owen through infancy to where they are now, that watching your children discover the world around them is something that goes far beyond astounding. But watching it four-fold, in addition to how they interact with each other is such an immense joy.

Obviously, these babies have been together from the beginning. To see the progression from the interaction on a small ultrasound screen to how they tumble over each other to fight for toys and try to climb over their cribs to get to one another is, in a word, incredible. They adore each other and their older brothers and have a bond that I would have never dreamed of. They are coming into their own, all while being banded together by a connection that most of the world will never get to experience. Weston and I used to wonder if as they got older they'd resent us- all six of them- for bringing them into this world where they'd never be alone or have the one on one time with us as parents that they'd need. But the truth is, all of these children are so loved, by us and by each other that I can't imagine that they'd harbor the resentment that I so feared. There is greater joy in my life than seeing my six children laughing and smiling together, each counting on another to provide a playmate, an accomplice, or in the case of Jake and Owen, an alibi. Weston and I know we won't be here forever. I pray that by the grace of God we're here for a very long time. But it provides a comfort knowing that far beyond the point we leave this earth, these 6 children will always have each other. They may be inconsequential to the world as a whole, but together they are cultivating relationships and bonds with each other that will always provide them with support, love and most importantly, family.

At this point (because I know it's been forever since I've updated this) all of the babies are weighing it at 22-24lbs, eating solid foods, picking up snacks to feed themselves, crawling commando style, sitting up, starting to say "da da" and "momma," and meeting all the milestones of babies that match their chronological age. They are by no means standard "preemies." They had their first taste of the pool last weekend, and took their first baths together yesterday. Have I said it's amazing? It's all happening so quickly, that I often find myself wishing I could stop the clock, sit back and watch them like this forever.

The biggest issue we've been faced with isn't a big issue at all, and that's Emmie and John's diagnosis of reflux. It's minor, and they have been put on Zantac which seems to be helping. If that's the worst thing we have to deal with as we travel through this adventure of parenting quadruplets, then we are truly blessed.

As the summer starts, and the babies move at rapidly increasing speeds through the house, my anxiety level has certainly increased- but so has the joy of having 6 beautiful, healthy babies being loud and boisterous throughout the house. I'm worried about our in ground pool and the safety issues that surround it (I do only have 2 ears, 2 eyes and 2 arms) and I'm worried about giving Jake and O a fun summer without limitations of what we can do, like last year. We've done a ton of work to the outside of our house to ensure summer fun, like installing a fence around our pool, a huge swing set big enough to handle six energetic children and their friends, and various other things to keep us all occupied. I've even discovered, in the midst of all of this, that I have green thumb, and have really enjoyed gardening and planting as something to do to relax. Not that I get to relax all that much anymore. With the babies moving at the speed of light, I don't find myself sitting down all too often anymore. If anyone wants a fail-proof diet plan, let me suggest this:

• Have six children that you're constantly running after
• Make sure two are old enough to ask for something every time you sit down to eat
• Have one baby who has a habit of pooping as soon as dinner is served
• Obtain a 105lb yellow lab that has a terrible habit of eating everything off of your plate as you run around changing poopy diapers and getting the drink, dessert, remote control, pajamas, tooth paste, etc that the two older boys are sure to covet.
• To really make the plan work, make sure that said yellow lab sneaks off with the aforementioned poopy diaper and proceeds to try and eat it under the dining room table as you try to eat what's left on your plate. Nothing like a dog eating a diaper to keep your appetite in check.

Such is the life here though, and I wouldn't change it for all of the riches in the world.

Reflection

"The Hopefuls" January 24th, 2009

"Love is the seed of all hope. It is the enticement to trust, to risk, to try, to go on." -Gloria Gaither

Every morning, I get an email from a website called Quote Mountain. The email contains 4 random quotes from the website's archives. I have no idea why I get it, as I never signed up, but when I rollover in the morning and check my Blackberry, it's the first thing I read no matter what other emails I get. Sometimes the quotes are funny, sometimes they are depressing, sometimes they don't pertain to me and sometimes they do.

The quote above was in my Quote Mountain email yesterday and it resonated with me- it was the perfect way to describe how I feel about my life, my family and my future.

January is always big month for me. It's the start of the New year, and the month of my birthday. But this year, the significance of the month is beyond that of years before. I turned 30, it's the anniversary of the IVF attempt that worked (January 19th our babies were conceived) and it's our 1st wedding anniversary.

It's an overwhelming thought that I'm 30 this year. As Weston was kind enough to point out, I'm just as close to 15 as I am to 45. I think I've done a lot in my 30 years, and for that I am proud. But even more important is that I've been loved unconditionally by my family, by some of my friends and created 6 lives that give me more joy than anyone could ever possibly imagine. I found the love of my life, and have been given a gift of what more often than not is a wonderful marriage. I sincerely hope that the next 30 years brings me just as much love and happiness.

Just as overwhelming is the thought that exactly one year ago we were preparing for our 2nd IVF attempt. It was emotional, and we had no certainty that it would work. We knew we would NOT be doing IVF again, and the prospect of not being able to conceive biological children together was terrifying. January 19th we had 18 eggs retrieved and fertilized. By the time the day of transfer came (January 24th) we had only 4 embryos left. None were of "great" quality and our chances of having just one were only 60%. So, we took a leap of faith, and transferred all four, hoping that we'd get one viable baby. We were, as you can imagine hopeful, but by no means sure we'd come out of this with a child. After blood work on February 5th confirming we were indeed pregnant (with an HCG level of 1594!) we knew we had a chance of having one- maybe even two babies given the HCG levels. On February 9th, when I went in for my first ultrasound (alone, West was flying) and saw three beautiful babies on that screen, I was ecstatic, nervous and had absolutely no idea what Weston would say. (It turns out his comment from the cockpit of the plane was "The more the merrier!") As we adjusted to the thought of triplets, I went in for my 2nd ultrasound, again alone. When the technician said " how many did you see last week?" and I replied "3" she said, "Well, now there is a 4th!" My thoughts were scattered and I was worried- "Why didn't the 4th show up the week before? What is Weston going to say? Are we going to lose all of them? Is the doctor going to tell us to reduce?"

In the end, we all know how it worked out. I was fine, carrying the babies to over 34 weeks. The babies were fine, and are now healthy and happy 4 1/2 month olds. Weston was fine, and continues to say "the more the merrier." And while the doctor recommended we reduce, we opted to have faith in both God and ourselves to carry us through. Thankfully that faith has gotten us where we are now, and we ask each other often as we look at these babies "Which one would he wanted to have reduced?!" We can't imagine our life without these 6 children.

It's been an amazing year for me, that's for sure. It's been a pretty amazing 30 years for that matter. When I look back to all that's led me to the age of 30, I don't mind being here so much.

So if you were one of the people who gave me that unconditional love- the love that has inspired me to trust, to take the risks that have given me this life and to continue to try and move on as life happens- I thank you explicitly. I wouldn't be where I am right now without you, and I am certain that the same will be true 30 years from now.

TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING 4X THE FUN

It's been quite some time since I wrote, hasn't it? I'd love to say I have some time to write now, but alas, I don't :) I can't seem to justify taking the few minutes to write about life here when we are truly spending every minute living and enjoying it.

In all honestly, having six beautiful and healthy children in our home has not only filled our time but it's filled our hearts as well. To witness the interaction between all of them, and to watch them grow and change daily is such an amazing thing. We are, without a doubt, blessed.

The boys have adapted to having four new siblings wonderfully, and have become the best big brothers the babies could have. The babies have continued to surprise us day after day, showing us their four distinct personalities already. And Hamilton the dog (the crazy crazy dog) hasn't eaten anyone yet. So far, I'd say it's been a successful 8 weeks.

If you're wondering what it's like to be in the midst of all of this, I promise you it's not crazy. In fact, the babies have given us all a sense of calm and sort of anchored our family. Things have been so uneventful in fact that I often wonder when the shoe will drop.

I hope to have some time soon to tell more of our story, but for now I'm going to go be a part of it- even if it means getting thrown up on for the 6th time today ;)

Thanks to everyone who's kept up with us and sent warm wishes. They all mean so much!

Some pictures of the babies!

Oh My.

One week ago today I had the privilege of welcoming my third, fourth, fifth and sixth child into this world, and to say that it was one of the most amazing things I've ever done is an understatement. Benjamin Christopher (8:00am 4lbs, 3oz), Mary Elizabeth (8:00am 4lbs,11oz), Katherine Mae (8:01am 4lbs, 8oz) and John William (8:03am 4lbs, 3oz) entered this world as strong, beautiful and healthy babies, who have humbled us in ways I could have never imagined.

I don't think I'll ever be able to describe the emotions felt in a suitable way, nor will I ever be able to describe the way we've been humbled throughout this entire process. It's just awe inspiring, and an amazing thing to be a part of. I'm still in disbelief.

All of our babies, including Jakob and Owen are doing incredibly well. All are doing age appropriate things, and taking strides everyday. The babies are very healthy, and are learning how to maintain their temperatures and feed on the bottle consistently without become too tired. Jake and Owen are adjusting to life as big brothers and can't wait to get their hands on their new siblings. I must say that even though my four youngest children are not as home with me tonight, all really is right in this world. The babies are getting the care they need to be strong when they come home, while Jake and Owen are happy to have me home, willing and able to snuggle with me in an instant. The only thing that could make life more perfect is to have the babies home with us- to enjoy, love and embrace.

West is loving the babies too, and to see him with them makes me literally melt. It's one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. As crazy as you think we'd be now preparing for them to come home, we're actually more calm and understanding of each other and have grown even closer through this experience. I'm a very blessed woman to have the husband that I have, and I've never in my life been more grateful for him. His willingness to do anything it takes to provide us with whatever our family needs and his unending support and love truly shows his dedication to both the children and myself. As I said, I'm blessed.

Tomorrow marks another milestone as I take my oldest son to Kindergarten. I truly don't want to let him go, but realize that I have to. He's getting older and it's time for him to start growing up. I'm not ready and don't think I'll ever be ready to let my first (or second, third, fourth, fifth or sixth) child go. It hurts my heart to ever think about it.

So, here is to another week of milestones, with both the boys and the babies. And here is to taking the time out of all of our busy days to be grateful for all that we've been given. I'm privileged and honored to call my family mine.

I'd like to take a minute too, to give proper thanks to all who've helped us through this past week in whatever way they have. From the doctors and nurses that have taken care of both the children and myself and who've given their time and skills to ensure that we all remain well, to my mom and dad staying with us and making our lives easier by doing chores and cooking and helping with the boys, to Weston's brother Greg and his wife Pat to helping take care of the boys at a moments notice. To everyone who graced us with visits, gifts and distractions at the hospital and to those neighbors who have been thoughtful enough to send gifts to the children they've never met. Our sanity, comfort and joy is in no small part related to all you've done. A simple "thanks" will never be enough but for right now, I hope that you know that all you've done is appreciated beyond words and will never be forgotten.

We are a lucky bunch, that's for sure.

Thank you all for thoughts, prayers and well wishes as they've gotten us through this past week. We're very much appreciative.

Love to all,

Weston, Nicole, Jake, Owen, Ben, Emmie, Kate and John.

Mission Accomplished

This morning marks one the largest milestones we've aimed to accomplish. Tomorrow will mark one more.

First, today WE have made it to 34 weeks gestation with our Quadruplets. When I say "We" I truly mean both our immediate family and beyond.

I may have done the physical work of carrying these babies, but Weston has has carried more than his fair share of the responsibility of keeping our lives maintained, and the boys have made it through without having 100% of their mother at their disposal. Our families have worked hard to help with anything we've asked of them, and our friends have done the same. We are so very blessed.

Last night I was trying to explain to West how I felt about the whole experience. To have made it this far, with hardly a bump to be noticed is the biggest gift anyone could have given us. I truly feel as though we've been carried through it, with little more than our toes grazing the ground. We have both God, and everyone around us to thank for that. How can I not feel honored to made it through this part of the journey unscathed? After experiencing the miraculous last 34 weeks, it's hard not to put faith in a higher power and give appreciation to our families who've done so much. To say I feel an unbelievable amount of love and devotion is an understatement.

Tomorrow, at 7:30am, we'll deliver our four newest children via c-section. We've met our goals throughout the pregnancy and tomorrow, we'll meet our gifts. I am excited beyond comprehension. To see them each for the first time, to touch them, to see Weston holding his first babies (by blood of course) and to experience that bond that we both worked so very hard to solidify. To give the boys the siblings they too have been anticipating, and to give our families four more lives to love. It's just going to be an incredible experience. The excitement and joy of seeing our family come together is something that I can not describe, but truly can not wait to behold.

I know that tomorrow will not be easy, given the surgery and the prematurity of the babies. I know that our lives are about to change to significantly that we may not recognize our previous selves. But for now, I am going to let all of the worry and anxiousness subside and focus of what we're about to witness, and the joy it will bring us.

Today we decided to have people over to enjoy some company, and get some family time in before tomorrow's events. We've tried to celebrate in some way every Sunday since I reached 28 weeks, but today seems more special and is the culmination of our pregnancy. We thought it would be nice to share that. So, we're having family, friends, food and drinks this afternoon and I can't wait. The highlight of my day will of course be seeing my Mom, who's staying with us for a couple of days to help (tomorrow my dad and sister will follow).

I am off to start our last day as a family of four, and will keep everyone posted on how tomorrow goes. Please keep us, and our babies (all of them, this isn't going to be easy on Jake and Owen either) in your thoughts!

Much love and thanks,

Nicole

The Final Stretch

Today we've reached 33 weeks. It's amazing to think that in 8 days (well, 7 1/2) we will meet these babies. Our c-section has been scheduled for August 31st, which is a week from tomorrow. I'm not sure if I've ever been more nervous.

We never thought when we found out we were having quads that we'd reach 34 weeks. In fact, we would have been thrilled to get to 30. But here we are, able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am just in awe. I never reached a point in this entire process where I was scared or shaken. But now, for some odd reason, being faced with an actual date has left me more apprehensive than usual. I'm anxious about the surgery, how the babies will handle the birth, what their health will be like, how the boys' will adjust, how Weston and I will fair and so much more. A week before they're born seems like a crappy time to start worrying about things, but leave it to me to procrastinate.

Jake and Owen impress me more and more each day. They survived our move and have adjusted so well to our new home. They also seem to really understand just what's going on around here, and what's about to happen. They've have even been very gentle and affectionate towards me, taking precautions not to hurt me or the babies. For two rambunctious boys, they are truly acting like little men who possess both compassion and sympathy for how I feel. It's astounding to witness and I am so incredibly proud of them.

Weston and I survived our move as well, and I have to say that I have never seen someone work as hard as Weston has from the week leading up to our move to this very moment as he paints our spare bedroom. He has been non-stop, and has made sure to keep me away from all of the "hoopla" as much as he can, even while he maintains his normal day to day work. It's really been a testament to his dedication to his family, and of course, me. We've also been blessed to have help from our families which can not go unacknowledged. From people helping with packing, to people helping to unpack...To people lending their time to help with the boys and so on...It's been a great thing to have people to help and we are both very grateful for it.

Since things are settling down now and we're fairly organized and unpacked, I've decided to actually take it easy this week. I've been ok for most of the last 33 weeks but this past week has been especially rough on me. I am getting HUGE and am having a hard time just getting around, so I figured I could take this week, enjoy the last few days of just having my two little boys and really focus on relaxing. There is no question that I don't sit still well. But I'm going to make an effort so I can go into surgery with a sense of calm. The babies deserve it. Aside from the FINAL drs appt I have tomorrow, I will not be running all over the place as usual. To be honest, I am actually looking forward to it.

So that's the story....One week until we have our 4 beautiful new additions, three weeks until my oldest son starts kindergarten, and a whole entire week to absorb every bit of what's happening around here surrounded by my family.